I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
