he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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