Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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