She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
