So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this just has baby written all over it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize