oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
