can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
