Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
