i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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