Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
