she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
