Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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