bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
