I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
