your parents love me but you hate me
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
