That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
