Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
