You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize