so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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