Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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