he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
