OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
