dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Terrible idea I love it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize