and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
