Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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