conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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