Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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