there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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