scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
