are you so shy because you have an std?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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