R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
