It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize