My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
