So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Randomize
