Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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