And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
