For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
