it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
