i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize