"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
