____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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