one might say we're banned from that church
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There's always time for handjobs
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
