i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize