marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
