Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
