just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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