We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
