She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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