I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
