There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
