I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
