i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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