i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
