Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
