we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
