I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
