And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
