and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
