i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
