and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize