goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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