I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
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Do I have a choice?
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
