Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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