yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize