It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
