I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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