You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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