brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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