there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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