You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
