All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
