There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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