Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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