The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
