wakey wakey hands off snakey
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
