now i know why i became what i already was.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize