it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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