remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
