i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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